why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
