no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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