I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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