I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
