I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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