I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
