Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
