I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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