I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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