I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
