Soap is not a condiment
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
