Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
