how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize