You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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