i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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