I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
