I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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