yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Hippo gnu deer
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
