You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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