She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
