I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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