We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
