you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
