Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
