His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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