I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
