so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
But break dance skills will only take you so far
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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