you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
