So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
