Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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