Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
