dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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