I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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