I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
