even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
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