the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
