she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
