Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
