Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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