After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
