tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
