drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize