apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
