she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
