Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
