So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
soo... how was my night?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
