If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
