Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
