peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
