Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i think i have two assholes
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
