i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
