she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
