Me too!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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