hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
