Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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