brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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