I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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