Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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