For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
