Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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