My first STD was from a foam party
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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