I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
