I need help removing her.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
